My pray in my sujjud

Assalamualaikum  yaa hubaib :) 

My name is Ariel Al-Muttaqin, I was born in Indonesia 24 years ago. I spent more time with my grandma, she teach me to pray and love rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم . My parent also teach me read qur'an and akhlaqul kariimah of rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم and love each other also.. Uwm, and math especially.
I was grow up in Jakarta that also famous as capital of Indonesia and megapolitan city..

When I was child Jakarta is beautiful playground, then it's became heaven in the world when I growth to be a teenager. A lot of beautiful sexy chick here, a lot of club also with drugs and khamr every where, use it and drink khamr? Yes, I did.. At place like this, you'll never remember what your parent told, you'll easily be a fellow of demon. Like other teens..
 

This country majority people are moslem, we are famous cause Allah gave us a lot of rizqon, beautiful ocean, mountain and land. Our people famous because of kindness, and friendly although just a bit of us can speak english, we'll only smile if we don't understand what foreigner said.. :)
 

But now it's change, our people did not keep the land, a lot of us start to be greedy human. Destroy everything we had and not fix it yet..  We can't do anything, the greedy so rich and powerful.. They try to play as God.. They forget that Allah is the only God. Na'udzubillah.

I was finished my high school 6 years ago, hamdallah, that time I just heal from drugs addicted, I was never use drugs no more. With painful of course, Allah let me taubatan nasuha. Although a lot of teen in our country include my friends still on that way.  But, since that time, I promise to never to touch it anymore cause I remember how paranoid, pain on my chest, like drown to the ocean, and hit the rock, my head was like blown up.. Full of pain... Cause of I'm health, I can pass full scholarship in KL, malaysia, hamdallah.
 

I was left khamr and drugs but I came to zina with pleasure, a lot of girls fall for me. indians, malay, chinese, caucasian, indonesian, too easy for me. Handsome? No, I'm not.. Rich? Of course nope.. Only my sharp eyes and my beautiful voices when singing is enough to make them fall deep in love with me. We did "this and that" fully 2 years.. Syaithan power was beat us up, although we still pray, we still read qur'an but, we did it.

In Indonesia, not only boys but men also love to do it, they also rape kids, doing prostitution, be a homosexual and lesbian  and they said that they are still moslem. They even try to lie to Allah, married to a prostitute to make it hallal but, Allah know everything, know what is their purposed to do that.

I wish my country free from it, I wish adult can teach us the meaning of real life based on qur'an, as a country who has biggest moslem population, I wish people use Qur'an as law of life. So that, no more khamr, no more drugs that will kill your brain, and I wish Allah will forgive us for our self stupidity.

When I finished my college, I did taubah pray, I bold my head up to make my brain work again, I can't stop to pray, do anything for Allah, only for Allah, No Else..

I wish indonesia could help Islam back to golden age of Islam.. Not only with amount of moslem but also with akhlaq and aqidah of real moslem, like what Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم teach, not only read qur'an but learn it, dig it, do it in real life..

 

My pray in my sujjud

Yaa Rahmaani Rahiim
My nafsi bigger than my iman..
I was so blind..
I was never remember you in my pray..

Ya ghafaaar, ya mutakabiir..
Forgive me please..
I knew, I'm not ​goood enough to come to heaven..
But I knew, I will never strong enough to come to hell..

I really ashamed to show my face to you my only Allah..
I can't.. I really ashamed..
Your Rasul never teach me that..but my self

اَللَّهُمَّ صَلِّي عَلَىسَيّدنَامُحَمَّدٍوَعَلَىآلۓِسَيّدنَا مُحَمَّدٍ
I'm afraid of Your azab on yaumul hisaab..
Let me be Your ahlul kitab..
Let me stand still on your way..

Till now, when I wrote this down for all of you, to read, to think about it, I just still wishing Allah would like to forgive us, I just wishing we could meet Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم in heaven.


Beloved,                                                                                        Indonesia, Jakarta
                                                                                                        15/11/2010

Je taime beacoup,
Ariel Al-Muttaqin